If you have you lost a loved one to suicide…

You may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings. All your feelings are normal. Anger, guilt, confusion, forgetfulness are common responses. You are not crazy, you are in mourning.

Please know that thousands of others have felt the same things.

  • IT’S OKAY TO GRIEVE: The death of a loved one is comparable to a a reluctant and drastic amputation, without any anesthesia. The pain cannot be described, and no scale can measure the loss. We despise the truth that the death cannot be reversed, and that somehow our dear one returned. Such hurting is indescribable. It’s OKAY to grieve.
  • IT’S OKAY TO CRY: Tears release the flood of sorrow, of missing and of love. Tears relieve the brute force of hurting, enabling us to “level off” and continue our cruise along the stream of life. It’s OKAY to cry.
  • IT’S OKAY TO HEAL: We do not need to “prove” we loved him or her. As the months pass, we are slowly able to move around with less outward grieving each day. We need not feel “guilty” about this. This is not an indication that we love less. It means that, although we don’t like it, we are learning to accept the suicide death of a loved one. It’s a healthy sign of healing. It’s OKAY to heal.
  • IT’S OKAY TO LAUGH: Laughter is not a sign of “less” grief. Laughter is not a sign of “less” love. It’s a sign that many of our thoughts and memories are happy ones. It’s a sign that we know our memories are happy ones. It’s a sign that we know our dear one would have us laugh again. It’s OKAY to laugh.
    — With permission from Suicidesurvivors.com.

Visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s website. The Survivor Outreach Program Director is Claire Wolford, 347.826.3592, cwolford@afsp.org  Their website also has information on how to find a support group in your area, a therapist, a children’s group, a bibliography, a survivor e-network and online support group.

Resources

The purpose of the Survivors Of Suicide web site is to help those who have lost a loved one to suicide resolve their grief and pain in their own personal way. Go to site

The Alliance of Hope for Suicide Loss Survivors provides healing support for people coping with the shock, the grief, and the complex emotions that accompany the loss of a loved one to suicide. Go to site

A list of resources/book/pamphlets and how to obtain them for those who have lost a loved one to suicide. Go to site